My story with my baby’s Reflux
6:46 am, the sound of my joyful and relieved tears were only drowned in the anxious tears of my firstborn, Bassel; that’s how my nerve-wracking and nearly impossible 21 hour, epidural labor concluded, as I took a moment enjoying the skin to skin feeling I said a little prayer and in my heart believed that its all smooth sailing from here, or so I thought
6:56 am, the 4 letters every new parents dreads: NICU. Bassel was being rushed there because he had swallowed some Meconium (the combination of LIQUID with the earliest baby stool) and is now suffering from DRS, distressed respiratory syndrome.
We spent 4 days with Bassel in the NICU, my husband , mother and I all sleeping in the room next to the unit. Dont know if you knew this but in Montreal, Canada if you are fine you get discharged even if your baby is still in the hospital and they let you share a room with the parents of the NICU right next to it. To our luck, it was empty and it was only us there. So, my husband and I shared a single bed for four nights. I had high anxiety that even when Bassel was sleeping I could not fall asleep and I had pain ofcourse, my milk was coming in and lets not forget about the lovely stitches.
On the fourth day, we were finally discharged and our healthy baby boy was going home, this also meant I get to sleep, because, babies are meant to sleep A LOT in the first few days. But sleep he did not, I am not exaggerating he simply did not sleep. If he did while breastfeeding as soon as I put him down he was up and we had to start all over again. I was exhausted, sleep deprived and I could not understand what was happening. So to survive, we took turns. My mother, husband and I alternated carrying him so he sleeps. First week home, he was crying like crazy. So in my desperate attempt to help both him and I, I turned to Google and realised he might be allergic to dairy. Within 1 minute I had cut out all dairy from my system, and it was nearly 11 months until I had dairy again….stay tuned.
For 3 weeks, he was still carried to sleep the dairy diet was helping, he cried less, but the sleeping was not improving. Doctor kept telling me its normal, he will better at 3 months, as long as he was gaining weight there was nothing to worry about. Three months in nothing happened. He breastfed what seemed to be a 100 times a day, still barely slept. Nothing. So I turned to Dr. Google search again and started realising that he has symptoms of silent reflux. Thrilled that I might have found the problem I took my search results to my doctor, who once again confirmed that as long as he was gaining weight, \everything was fine. Desperate, I went to two other doctors, who gave me the same answer. One of them dried my tears as I broke down in her clinic and said maybe try putting him up right after milk just in case I was right. I was already doing that and I knew I was right. But why and how are specialised doctors not seeing this, am I losing my mind?
Six months in, still no real progress, my sleep deprivation was an on all time height; the notion of sleeping longer than 2 hours straight seemed like an unattainable dream or to be able to move my arms freely during the day, since my son only found comfort if he was carried all the time. When I thought things cannot get any worse, things took a shocking and unforgeable turn when I introduced solids, that is when all hell broke loose. Bassel would cry, he would not open his mouth, woke up every hour at night, refused to eat. Meals were horrible. I was told that once I start solids it will get much better, it did not. On the contrary, I was going mad. I felt like I had lost myself completely. I was in Syria at the time and I took him to a new Dr and she BELIEVED ME. She said CLEARLY he has reflux and prescribed medication. I could not believe that she had believed me, I spent 3 days in tears after that because of all the unnecessary pain both Bassel and I were in for the past 6 months.
9 months in, the medication eased his pain. But he was still waking up every two hours and we were back to literally sleeping on top of me. He still wanted to be carried all the time, kept swallowing, grunting and squirming he was uncomfortable and I just could not believe that this was normal. I was tired of being belittled by doctors being dismissive saying this was normal and I need to be patient and that he will outgrow it, the way I saw it, this could take years, at my lowest point when I hit my rock bottom I knew in my heart I needed help, this was unsustainable and I was a shell of myself.
So at 3 am on a very sleepless night, I found a specialised baby reflux consultant on Instagram. I did not know people like her existed, I booked an appointment and that was the best decision I ever made for my son and I.
We worked together for a month; it was the best month since I had Bassel. He was a different baby within days. I could see him suddenly enjoying mealtime. He slept better, stopped grunting, and was just happy. He had allergies to a lot of the foods I was eating. My life changed. She saved me from myself, I was days away from depression and she saved me. She saved both of us and I am forever thankful. and that is when I decided I want to be a baby reflux consultant.
So in my first blog post I want to say this: I believe you. When you say something is wrong. I believe you, when you say you are doing all you can. I believe you when you say, either you carry him to sleep or never sleep. I believe you when you say you know this is not normal. So take a deep breath, and know that none of this is your fault, yes reflux is common, but it is not normal, and I am here as the first and only certified reflux consultant in the Middle East happy and willing to help you. So let me help you